Just got my hair trimmed. i really have nothing much to say right now, those who are close would know what my family is like now. seems like everything just gotten worse..

I don't think i can hold on much longer. how long will i be able to keep fighting? to hold my head above the water? why can't we just be like every family. why must we be like that?..

If one day i am to die, will i be remembered? what will they recall when they hear my name? or will i be forgotten? just like how a mother has forgotten to love her child...

If one day i am to die, will people be sad? will people spill tears just because i'm dead.. i hope not, i hope my funeral won't be filled with tears. it'll all go wasted..

I hope people at my funeral will be cheerful. life goes around like a circle. maybe mine was meant to be a broken one. where the 2 ends don't connect.

I dunno what to do right now. maybe, it's time?... mama is still the only one whose words and action cut deep into my heart. i lost the battle, and maybe i've lost the war.

Goodbye friends, those who love me, those who hate me. goodbye world, and let me drift to sleep. maybe an eternal slumber. and goodbye my halcyon days.. may i rest peacefully.

And lastly.. goodbye to you. thank you for all that you've done. goodnight.. forever.