I'm know this sounds stupid, but i'm sorry..
i don't think i can love again, not anytime soon.
so please don't do stupid things and care for me
i'm seriously not worth that amount of effort.


i remembered a part of a conversation i had with dom..

Dom: if you find someone who loves you alot?
Me: i still won't go with that someone.
Dom: if the person can also give you that feel?
Me: the same amount of feeling that xxx gave me?
Dom: no..
Me: than no, i still won't be with that someone.
Dom: even if that person really loves you?
Me: yeaaa, even if that person really loves me, i still won't.
Dom: and if xxx doesn't come back?
Me: i believe she will.
Dom: if don't come back leh?
Me: than i'll stay like that forever luh.


can you believe i actutally said that? WOW.

like i explained to peggy last night, it's like drugs.
once you get a certain high, nothing can compare to it.
you have to achieve an even higher "high" to like it.
nothing lower than that can satisfy you anymore.

someone please knock some sense into me, NOW!
i know people who will be fuming to read such things.
especially since the one typing it is me..

even if we were to be just normal, simple friends..
i'll still shower xxx with love and all my care.
even if i'm supposed to see her with another guy,
as long as it makes xxx happy, i'll be happy for her.
i will always always want to be there for her,
to share her joy with her, share her tears with her.

no, she didn't put some gongtao on me, it's MY choice.

friends, just like we used to be, how it always was.
falling in love with her was just a beautiful mistake,
it was beautiful, yes but still a mistake in the end..
i only wish for things to return to the way it was.
even if it means a lifetime of regret for me.


Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.