when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.
Gosh, i've been so busy. Cobwebs collecting in my blog once again. I'm not supposed to leave it alone for this long but i didn't have a choice. Considering my mood and my health, i would not have have been in the right mind to blog. I've been feeling extremely miserable lately, with extremes highs and very low downs. It's been like a roller-coaster, people telling me what i should and should not do because i've been so
Just take for example, i can't even truly smile anymore. Even if i'm celebrating or fooling about, even if i'm surrounded by all my great friends. Worse still, being surrounded by them and celebrating my birthday. I'll smile, for the sake of them, for the sake of fun, but not a truly happy smile. Except the moment i saw you, i smiled. I truly smiled. The best present i have ever received was you. I've never wanted something more. Even if it was for a few hours, it doesn't matter, being able to see you, to hear your voice, to feel your touch, that's more than enough for me. Smiling for a few hours can replace 21 years of my life, it's amazing, no?
It seems i've made you more important than you're supposed to be, trouble's brewing. All i want is still a simple life, just that it includes her now. That's what i want, and i've learned from life that you can't simply get whatever you want. Just a little more time, before i hopefully turn around and leave. Let me smile a few more times. I'm sure peg can tell, but she's choosing to keep her mouth shut. She's probably waiting for the "I told you so" moment. Oh, and she still owes me for throwing a can of beer at me (even if it was by accident).
It hurts to choose to let go of something that feels like it's the best thing in your life at that moment.