tell not the whole world, but the one I love that I died of a broken heart,
not because he loved me too little but because I loved him too much.
Love the quote. :)
There are times in life that you feel totally insecure, now is one of those times. No matter how much that person does, it's just going to rub off wrongly. You really want to put in all your heart and effort but every time you start to do so, there's this little voice at the back of your mind that says, "Hey, are you sure you want to do that? You're just going to get hurt in the end, it's not worth such effort. Forget about it.", and things like that. It's terribly frustrating to have a war in your mind every single minute of the day, to put it simply IT SUCKS. You scream out but no one hears your screaming, nobody can help you and you can only save yourself.
You'll wish you had better willpower, you want to overcome such feelings because inside, you know it's all fake; it's just made up. Actually, you KNOW what you want and how you're feeling, you just don't understand why you're thinking like that all of a sudden. Does anyone have an answer? Has anyone developed a drug or a cure for this? When you stop and think, you hate yourself so badly just for hurting the ones around you, the ones that you love so much. It's not regret, but it isn't worth it either because gradually it will just loosen the bonds among friends, that strong fire called Love will slowly extinguish. Nobody wants that.
If you're feeling this way, i pity you. If you're not, welcome to MY life. It's pretty fucked up. :/